January 6th, 2008

Diary of A Monster: True Confessions Of Darth Vader

We all know lots about Darth Vader. I remember with perfect clarity moment we saw his wretched head in the hyperbaric chamber in Empire Strikes Back in the theater. Did you know he kept a journal?

I stumbled upon this the other day, and got so entranced I read the whole thing. Started as a blog way back in 2005 (how did I miss this?), it’s basically a stand-alone novella, both hilarious and poignant. Who knew the mind behind the mask?

I will say this for being a tyrannical dark overlord: you get great service at restaurants.

It’s not all for laughs, though - there’s some great prose here, along with many, many force-choked tracheas:

On a more banal note something has gone wrong with my left leg. For the time being I have avoided limping by overriding the control circuitry with the power of the force, but this is needlessly draining. I have called for a repair droid, but it has been over an hour and there is still no sign.

Later, I will find the man responsible for dispatching the repair droids and crush his trachea with my mind. I also have tentative lunch plans with General Krelcon and his people, possibly in the Corellian quarter.

Darth also reveals some precious insights into his management style. It’s Christmas on Hoth!

Posted in Reading

Responses

Hey Allan,

I’m glad you enjoyed The Darthside.  My latest serial is an original science-fiction work, with chapters going up every week.  Catch-up and read along if scifi floats your boat.

http://cheeseburgerbrown.com/stories/The_Secret_Mathematic/index.html

Yours,
Cheeseburger Brown

Hello Allan! Tim and I loved the Diary of a Monster. It is hilarious........yet sad. Thanks for bringing it to our attention. Just goes to show that a high metachlorian count is not enough when it comes to dealing with traumatic life issues........one must blog!

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